you, holding a balloon and a bottle of brandy: “see what i got you? wow, such a good girlfriend.”
me: “such a good girlfriend. amazing thank you.”
you, upstairs as i give you the orchids and Reese’s: “aw that’s nice. i was hoping you wouldn’t get me anything so i could rub it in your face that i am a better girlfriend than you are a boyfriend.”
me, laughing: “i’m so sorry to disappoint you.”